80....really?

At my favorite shopping establishment yesterday, I saw a magazine that claimed Jennifer Hudson had lost 80 pounds...really?

This is her in American Idol when she was apparently 80 pounds overweight.

This is after her 80 pound weight loss...

Being a woman is hard enough.

Things We Say Wrong

Heaven forbid we preserve the English language...

He had me at Coffee...

Speaking of inappropriate.

Every Sunday after taking communion, I watch others dip their communion wafer in the holy wine...this is all I can think, and sing:

Now that is inappropriate of me.

Day of Mourning

I spent most of yesterday trying to digest it.


I guess leaving with Jesus Christ Super Star really will be the irony at which she leaves.


Even Jesus loves people with Tattoos.


Cheers to Carly, one of the most seasoned professionals I have ever heard sing.

"Cleave" unto my words.....YO!

Just look at her. The cheek bones. The choker, beneath a somewhat masculine adams' apple, because she's so thin. Red lips, perfect brows and dainty pearl earings placed just so.

Growing up, my mother was nothing like her, June that is. Some times I like to imagine how I might have turned out had I grown up in the Cleaver home.

Example A: I might wake in the morning early to press my husbands shirts and make breakfast. Instead he wisks off to work barely getting a shower and a cup of joe. When he leans down to kiss me goodbye I still have mascara strewn across my face, I am practically snoreing, face burried in pillows and covers.

Example B: When the children misbehave, he might hear in a high pitched loving voice things like: Now children, lets love one another, or nice boys get to heaven. His reality is picking up a cell phone call worried that the next lines out of my mouth will be, "I am going to blow up this house!"

In the end, we function, maybe not as peacecfully as the Cleavers...but hey, we fend for ourselves, and know how to make a mean quesadilla, with fake cheese and pam.

One time my mother got down and cried when she had a full tank of gas. No wonder I am thrilled with a twenty in my wallet. Who needs savings when you give your mother your allownace to fix her car so you can get to school in the morning.

Carly Smithson - Come Together - Top 12 Finalists

I am little bit obsessed with Carly.

I would like to be able to carry off a tattoo like her, oh and move like her.

I think she is the real deal miss Carly. She redefines so many things for me.

"O" Bama, you Ba-rack my world.

NO, I did not vote for mister Bama. But I hope I get the chance to think about it.

Is it just me, or is he gorgeous, and have one of the most soothing speaking voices you've ever heard? He is the real deal. Not that I am basing my vote on how hot a present elector is...I just can't quite get over him.

It's a mild crush.

Nothing like Monica Lewinsky. And, I don't wear sleezy blue dresses.

Maybe I could run for Vice president and then be really close to him.

It shall be interresting, the next few months of our lives. Like I always say and always live by. Tomorrow it is all history, so live today like it matters.

XANA--

Offilially, oficial, ofiiciality.

Well, It's over, I voted. My hands got sweaty, my heart raced rampantly.

Then, when I got in my car I turned on some metalica. Something had to tune out the noise.

Come on America let's think this through.

I found this picture fascinating...let's make sure we think through this next election.

What are you thinking?

It came to my attention in group skate class the other day, that one of my students had been given remote control roller skates for Christmas. What do you say to that? How do you not beat the crap out of a parent who just desperately wants her child to win? I can't even look at this mother, I mean do you know how hard the other kids work to build up good Quads and Hamstrings? As I peered into the balcony to find the mother, whom obviously had the controls, I was flabbergasted by her response. She acted surprised, yet pleased. Osta baby, your out of my class.

Tribute to Rabid......

One of my favorite bloggers is the Rabid Runner. What exactly she does for a living, or whom she professes to be matters not to me. She just fascinates me. Upon blog surfing this evening I found out that she dislikes this time of year. So, in hopes of making this holiday season go by without any snags, I thought I would nominate myself to nominate her, who would then nominate Cartman, who would nominate someone at Target to give out "Shopper's passes." Now, these being like most passes received in elementary school have to be monitored because as we have found through history and the second world war, people just have to be micromanaged. You have to take "authority" when giving someone permission, especially shopping. I myself found, that women with children become especially nervous at retail shops this time of year, and I can totally see why, I mean how do you explain to your children that there are different Santa's at every store you go to? I mean, that's asking for trouble. Anyway. We have all witnessed Cartman, in action he is greedy, self centered, cheesy poof eating, cat hating, Kyle teasing, and is a spitting image of shoppers during Christmas. Now go out there all you Rabid in heart and testify to the true behavior of the holidays and only give permission to those who deserve. After that, they must respect your authority. Happy Holidays.

A word from my sponsor

I have been chosen to write 7 random facts about myself, and write them on my blog. I am curious why anyone would want to know more. But here it goes, thanks McMillan girl for making me write more about myself. I doubt it will be as interesting as the Rabid, she seems to have coined the market on Random and funny. Here it goes:

Random fact #1

I went to school one day in the fourth grade after having made a sandwich. That day, like usual I peered through my closet for something interesting to wear. As usual, my creativity was met with hysteria when I realized that a mini skirt and fish nets was way too cumbersome for the fourth grade. Wedge shoes were not appropriate for the very taxing game of hopscotch I was currently sweeping the entire elementary school playing, I was undefeated. The old standby creeped it's way onto my changing body, the red jump suit with maroon racing stripes down the side. Polka dot socks, a paisley scarf, and hideously fantastic 1980's hightop la gear sneakers. I continued to get ready and made a sandwich for school from a can that I thought said TUNA! The entire day as I moved Tim collings, and everyone else who sat next to me gagged. I had made a sandwich out of sardeens, and spilled some of the oil onto my clothes without knowing. My nick name that year was sardeena, with a puckered face and holding nose as to avoid smelling.

Random Fact #2

For the sixth grade talent show, a group of neighborhood girls decided to do a talent review. We practiced over and over, it was flawless. The day before the talent show, we decided that the attire would be black biker shorts and hot pink shirts tied at the waist. I also had a fantastic pair of wedge shoes that were hot pink as well, so I decided to wear them. The next day I showed up for the talent show with my group. They all were wearing very nice dresses, and had their hair done like movie stars. The other part of the costume was to RAT our hair. Needless to say all eyes were on me. I still think it was my fierce talent that made them gasp.

Random Fact #3

I hate reptiles. I am understanding of all living breathing things....accept reptiles, they do not make sense to me, I have a rodent problem, so they are obviously not doing their job.

Random Fact #4

When I clean my house I speak in a different accent. Sometimes I am from Australia, and round up all the laundry like cattle on a ranch. Somedays I am from the deep south,"Waayee Aui'm nawt shua Bessee, I think the caaah's v bin Muiked." My favorite accent is Hilga's. She's the naughy house keeper.

Random Fact #5

If I was forced to marry a person of Hollywood, and move to a secluded island, I would choose Johny Depp. If I could choose a person to look like of Hollywood, it would be Fergie.

Random Fact #6

At the very impressionably age of 19 I looked old enough to get into any club in New York City. I freqented drag shows for an entire year, and have the equivalent eye shadow collection to prove it. That extended brow/multisparkle eye shadow is really just for Drag Queens, I wonder if that would count as a tax write off if I donated all my makeup to a better cause...

Random Fact #7

Favorite Quote: "My cat can eat a whole watermelon." Reuben and Ed.

I really think everyone is tagged, or as Rabid would have it Blagged, or Togged. Thanks Rabid.

Trick or skate dude.

This year, I decided to go trick or skating. I thought it was a fantastic idea. However, the neighbors did not. With my latest obsession with all things retro I was looked, no, frowned upon as my I cruised through the neighborhood in my nineteen seventies skates. I decided to get wheels that flashed lights as I perused through the park. that also created a scene. I am not sure if it is because my costume was so authentic that even those who I tried to fool knew I was up to something. I mean what is wrong with wonder woman on skates? Everyone else was a fairy or a witch, there were wings, and daggers, too many pirates, if I might say so myself, and last but not least, bat men's and spider mens. I mean why is it that as soon as an adult has a little Halloween spirit the entire town gasps?

I guess they just don't see the beauty in a little skin on skates.

Respect the Meat!

Did anyone watch my name is Earl?

http://www.nbc.com/My_Name_Is_Earl/video/#mea=165676


watch it! If you need a laugh, this should do it. If you need background, you can watch the whole episode at:

http://www.nbc.com/My_Name_Is_Earl/video/episodes.shtml

Enjoy!

Dove Onslaught

I worry about girls. I remember being 6 years old and being quite aware that I didn't measure up and still don't. Somehow everytime I watch this video I have some hope that the Dove campaign will change the world.

Doggie diapers for the less considerate!

Pardon the detour from my usual writing material. However, my new neighbors have two dogs whom they walk to do their daily routine. They walk them over to my yard and the animals deficate in my front yard. Don't get me wrong, I adore animals and I really like dogs. However, I don't have dogs, because I presently take care of other beings and must clean up their fecal matter daily. So in order to stay sane, I choose to keep animals whom have very little daily clean up. Who are they thinking is going to pick that up? They walk them on leahes, if I were standing right there watching them would they clean it up? If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it does it make noise? I thought of getting a bag and colecting all the remains and putting it on their door step...do you think that is too rude? Or should I be polite to someone who obviously thinks no more of me than to clean up after their dog's poo!

Team Name:

KZSW TV 27 Roller Derby Divas 010407

Here you go ladies, are you really ready for this?

Finally the truth has spoken!

I am plagued by PMS. It is just like any source of power accept it has no outlet...the PMS that is.
If you click on any of the video's to the right, you will see my new fascination. My favorite in particular is the one from the 1950's. No wonder the women of that era were perfectly put together with a smile on their face and dinner ready for spouse. I propose we all start our own roller derby tournament. For it to be successful, I recommend we only compete four days a month during which we are most Volatile. I have designed outfits, with a Giant P on the from in pink and black. I am sure our spouses would make great refs, and our children would fit right in with the crowds.

The flowing, artistic movement of my otherwise passion seems to be failing in keeping things in perspective during this time, so I will be looking to this outlet for the time being. If you are not yet sold on how it will work, I will keep you posted, and I am sure you will join just before you ovulate.

Why so many clothes on a three hour tour?

Perhaps the skipper and his crew really made being stranded on an Island look entirely too easy, maybe we never really saw a true portrayal of struggle so therefore we are like blind mice being led into an ashen forest? Their biggest challenges were finding out where the professor had hid the money, and why the beauty queen was never seen wearing the same outfit twice. I never saw an episode in which they could not eat, or were close to dying from dehydration, and couldn't boil the sea water because they had no fire. I also don't remember seeing Mr. and Mrs. Brady fighting over who was going to take the kids to day care, or how they were going to afford to feed and pay their insurance premiums. The beaver never got teased because his dad was a pansy, and his brother was a bully. The only show I have ever watched that portrayed people being happy in the midst of real struggle was Lassie...but then again, I have never seen a dog frown. I guess one could argue that little house on the prairie was a genuine depiction of struggle, family unity and working through hardship. But that was a time when you actually could reap the harvest you sewed. Is that something I can relate to now? I wish sometimes that me and my children could harvest what we eat and work together as a family. However, as we check out groceries in the market we look not only at America's most privileged royalty, we look at the signals that will be very strong to ourselves and the generation we are preparing for the very world we live in, and work so hard to be happy in. I look around me and people are working around the clock, to be happy, to take care of their needs, and the things they own. But then, I remember little moments, fleeing moments within the struggle that remind my little soul to keep pushing forward, that it is in-fact rewarding. That every single moment of my life is important. I may not know it in the moment,...but some day as with many stages of my life, they find clarity, meaning, and sometimes inspiration to another. It may take time, but I will look to comedies for the time being. Anything that is a fairy tale must stay far away, unless it is about an ogre and a princess who was banished for being ugly. Am I jaded? Am I bitter? Or have I just lost the final stage of innocence and discovered that the most precious things in life are what you work your guts out for. Your relationships, your children, and that dream you will never let go of from childhood.


I feel better now.