Monday, September 17, 2007

Finally the truth has spoken!

I am plagued by PMS. It is just like any source of power accept it has no outlet...the PMS that is.
If you click on any of the video's to the right, you will see my new fascination. My favorite in particular is the one from the 1950's. No wonder the women of that era were perfectly put together with a smile on their face and dinner ready for spouse. I propose we all start our own roller derby tournament. For it to be successful, I recommend we only compete four days a month during which we are most Volatile. I have designed outfits, with a Giant P on the from in pink and black. I am sure our spouses would make great refs, and our children would fit right in with the crowds.

The flowing, artistic movement of my otherwise passion seems to be failing in keeping things in perspective during this time, so I will be looking to this outlet for the time being. If you are not yet sold on how it will work, I will keep you posted, and I am sure you will join just before you ovulate.

11 comments:

Winder said...

I want to play, if my doctor will allow me. Can my "P" stand for pregnant? I have decided that I am in a several month long bout with the PMS.

Biker Babe said...

One flaw in this otherwise perfect plan. Unless we can all synchronize our periods, we'd be playing pretty much all month long, all the time. Not that I'm opposed to that--I would probably lose a few pounds that way.

I'm intrigued by this suggestion. Please keep us posted.

rabidrunner said...

Wouldn't that be part of team try-outs? Report the when and how long of your cycle then form your teams that way? There are billions of menstrating women out there, surely we can find enough on the same clock to make it work.

Winder said...

I don't think we need to worry about our different cycle times. We just need to decide if we can play as a team. After that we need to take several road trips and practice daily. In my past team experience this was enough to make everyone align their clocks. Well, that is everyone but me I have always ticked to my own tock.

Can I still play? I am highly competitive and can find rage at any moment. Just ask the mother of my dear friend. I hissed at her because she didn't play how I wanted her to in a card game. The best part is I had just met her

XANA-DIVA-DELUX said...

Ladies, you are all on to something...rage, cycles, competition, weight loss, one more thing to think about: We need a mascot. I have some ideas, just wanted your input first.

rabidrunner said...

I'm partial to the "PMS Avenger" from Mystery Men.

Biker Babe said...

I agree with winder...the more we practice together the more synchronized we'll become. Wow, now that could get dangerous.

Biker Babe said...

I miss you Diva.

rabidrunner said...

So this is an unrelated topic, but would you care to elaborate on your "skippy skins" account. I was rummaging through the Petulant Ninny and happened upon a comment you made about the money you put in a Skippy Skins account. What are your plans for this account? How much do you need in it? What kind of skins are we talking about here? All of these questions are very personal in nature but I'm sure you'd be able to expose some of your secrets for the common good of entertainment. Right? Or not. Either way I'm uber happy.

The MacMizzles said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
XANA-DIVA-DELUX said...

Actually, I have found that a baby's genetalia is not personal, for some reason because they are babies, their genetalia is open for conversation. SO no worries there Rabid, I'll explain. "Skippy skins" is an interest bearing account opened with the money that would otherwise have been spent on circumsicion. When our boys ask why we didn't do such a thing instead of hearing something like this..."your father and I really felt..." they will be shown the account and see how their lack of circumcision has actually grown by (hopefully) 12%. When confronted by the data of the circ aproximately 1/3 of the penis is removed. Not only will they keep that, they will gain an extra percentile. In our society, size and percentiles matter, I learned that when my child failed to meet the requirements for the 100% percentile. IF they would like to use the money to remove skin from the penis at that time, they have our blessing, and the account will be drained. However, if they keep it in the account, they can watch their amazing extra skin money grow before their eyes. Their choice. What a great question! Then if they choose not to use it, when they go to college, we will fly to europe and actually have a honeymoon.