Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Pum pum ch ch ch ch!
The prelude to my day began with a very annoying alarm that my cell phone plays repeatedly. 5 am comes early, with great intent and fierce dismay I exit my very comfortable, very warm bed. To put on a very tight, very oppressive situation otherwise known as a sports bra. Some people can buy the walmart 5 dollar special, not this skating diva, I must buy the most high tech, nearly steel plated contraption, and pray that I will be able to insufflate correctly. Leaving my home today I did not know what awaited me at the gym. I saddled up to the precor xmx 454 and began my usual cardio exercise. My mp3 player begins with a nice quintet, preferably Brahms, then eases into a little gangster rap, and then we go full throttle, and bump things up with William Orbit. It's fast, it's repetitive, and well, it usually impels activity in my limbs. Pum pum ch ch ch ch, is beckoning in the ears, when what to my wondering eyes should appear? A man to the right within the very dedicated group of runners on the treadmills and what do I see?...MAN BOOBS. You may be thinking that this particular fast paced running diligent was over 300 pounds. No he was a svelte 190 with floppy, over active bouncing beautiful man boobs. I watched them, studied them and before I knew it I was transfixed, motivated, and confused. Feeling a little bit dirty, needing a shower, I directed my attention back to my own work out. Then giggled silently to myself. The list of things that then raced through my head were endless. The repetition of the bouncing and it's onomatopoeia will forever be an inspiration to me. No support, no bra, no fear and definitely no ignominy...I am forever in debt to him. For his stellar way in which he didn't support such a beautiful b cup, without stupefaction. I then feel trapped and unable to expire a breath worth anything, my bra has begun to stultify the very mechanisms that perpetuate, sustain, and renew life...my lungs and diaphragm!!! (please pronounce the g) ::Take just a moment of silence for him, and include him in your thoughts, and prayers:: I wonder if he is still young and just doesn't know what them boobies will look like in about 15 years, when gravity, lack of elasticity and time has taken it's toll. I am not sure if I should tell him, or just pray he is at the Gym tomorrow, so I can study them again....fascinating.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
It's called "Gynecomastia" and is ntoiced frequently among the steroid injecting weight building population. You see all that extra testosterone pumped into their bodies causes the body to freak out and try to balance itself by making estrogen. Then the male body can't figure out what they should do with all that estrogen and sends it right to the boobies.
It's too bad that the extra PMS enducing estrogen in my body cannot find it's way to MY boobies.
.... also you can google Gynecomastia to see photos of all shapes and sizes.
Isn't it amazing what a little bit of hormones can do to your body!!!
Obviously I don't have a great deal of that estrogen stuff 'cuz I haven't ever been blessed/cursed with boobies. During the prime of my athletic career I didn't even wear a sports bra under my uniform. No bouncing here!
Maybe I should come and observe with you I don't know what it's like to have the bouncing. It might be interesting to see.
It was fascinating, truly riveting. I don't think I have been this entertained in years. I also don't know if I should laugh or cry after Google searching GYNECOMASTIA!!! Say that ten times and tell me you are sane afterwards!
I would have loved to have seen the winder run. Eat your heart out Marion Anderson, here comes the Winder, no bra and all...was that your superstitious lucky trademark?
One more thing, if I were to take lots of estrogen would I grow a penis?
I don't know if it was a superstition, but I guess it was a trademark. I didn't think much about it at first until I started noticing that I was one of the few without the extra layer/layers. I was a grateful for this in the heat and little sorry about it in the cold. (I have a R.T. phobia I don't want anyone saying "her turkey is done"!)
I think I will now go and google Gynecomastia I am very curious.
I am indeed grateful that the scientific name for this phenomenon has been shared. Now I can tell the mom down the street what is wrong with her teenage son. I'm printing off info from wikepedia as right now. Wish me luck!
Hey could hormones explain my sudden contraction of tourettes syndrome? I'm getting off the birth control once and for all!
Post a Comment