Tribute to Rabid......

One of my favorite bloggers is the Rabid Runner. What exactly she does for a living, or whom she professes to be matters not to me. She just fascinates me. Upon blog surfing this evening I found out that she dislikes this time of year. So, in hopes of making this holiday season go by without any snags, I thought I would nominate myself to nominate her, who would then nominate Cartman, who would nominate someone at Target to give out "Shopper's passes." Now, these being like most passes received in elementary school have to be monitored because as we have found through history and the second world war, people just have to be micromanaged. You have to take "authority" when giving someone permission, especially shopping. I myself found, that women with children become especially nervous at retail shops this time of year, and I can totally see why, I mean how do you explain to your children that there are different Santa's at every store you go to? I mean, that's asking for trouble. Anyway. We have all witnessed Cartman, in action he is greedy, self centered, cheesy poof eating, cat hating, Kyle teasing, and is a spitting image of shoppers during Christmas. Now go out there all you Rabid in heart and testify to the true behavior of the holidays and only give permission to those who deserve. After that, they must respect your authority. Happy Holidays.

A word from my sponsor

I have been chosen to write 7 random facts about myself, and write them on my blog. I am curious why anyone would want to know more. But here it goes, thanks McMillan girl for making me write more about myself. I doubt it will be as interesting as the Rabid, she seems to have coined the market on Random and funny. Here it goes:

Random fact #1

I went to school one day in the fourth grade after having made a sandwich. That day, like usual I peered through my closet for something interesting to wear. As usual, my creativity was met with hysteria when I realized that a mini skirt and fish nets was way too cumbersome for the fourth grade. Wedge shoes were not appropriate for the very taxing game of hopscotch I was currently sweeping the entire elementary school playing, I was undefeated. The old standby creeped it's way onto my changing body, the red jump suit with maroon racing stripes down the side. Polka dot socks, a paisley scarf, and hideously fantastic 1980's hightop la gear sneakers. I continued to get ready and made a sandwich for school from a can that I thought said TUNA! The entire day as I moved Tim collings, and everyone else who sat next to me gagged. I had made a sandwich out of sardeens, and spilled some of the oil onto my clothes without knowing. My nick name that year was sardeena, with a puckered face and holding nose as to avoid smelling.

Random Fact #2

For the sixth grade talent show, a group of neighborhood girls decided to do a talent review. We practiced over and over, it was flawless. The day before the talent show, we decided that the attire would be black biker shorts and hot pink shirts tied at the waist. I also had a fantastic pair of wedge shoes that were hot pink as well, so I decided to wear them. The next day I showed up for the talent show with my group. They all were wearing very nice dresses, and had their hair done like movie stars. The other part of the costume was to RAT our hair. Needless to say all eyes were on me. I still think it was my fierce talent that made them gasp.

Random Fact #3

I hate reptiles. I am understanding of all living breathing things....accept reptiles, they do not make sense to me, I have a rodent problem, so they are obviously not doing their job.

Random Fact #4

When I clean my house I speak in a different accent. Sometimes I am from Australia, and round up all the laundry like cattle on a ranch. Somedays I am from the deep south,"Waayee Aui'm nawt shua Bessee, I think the caaah's v bin Muiked." My favorite accent is Hilga's. She's the naughy house keeper.

Random Fact #5

If I was forced to marry a person of Hollywood, and move to a secluded island, I would choose Johny Depp. If I could choose a person to look like of Hollywood, it would be Fergie.

Random Fact #6

At the very impressionably age of 19 I looked old enough to get into any club in New York City. I freqented drag shows for an entire year, and have the equivalent eye shadow collection to prove it. That extended brow/multisparkle eye shadow is really just for Drag Queens, I wonder if that would count as a tax write off if I donated all my makeup to a better cause...

Random Fact #7

Favorite Quote: "My cat can eat a whole watermelon." Reuben and Ed.

I really think everyone is tagged, or as Rabid would have it Blagged, or Togged. Thanks Rabid.

Trick or skate dude.

This year, I decided to go trick or skating. I thought it was a fantastic idea. However, the neighbors did not. With my latest obsession with all things retro I was looked, no, frowned upon as my I cruised through the neighborhood in my nineteen seventies skates. I decided to get wheels that flashed lights as I perused through the park. that also created a scene. I am not sure if it is because my costume was so authentic that even those who I tried to fool knew I was up to something. I mean what is wrong with wonder woman on skates? Everyone else was a fairy or a witch, there were wings, and daggers, too many pirates, if I might say so myself, and last but not least, bat men's and spider mens. I mean why is it that as soon as an adult has a little Halloween spirit the entire town gasps?

I guess they just don't see the beauty in a little skin on skates.